Peter J.T. Langdon
"Life may not be the party we'd hoped for, but we may as well learn to dance..."
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What I'd like in a woman? O.o
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A lot of people have told me lately I should make a list of the ideal qualities I’d like in a woman; problem is, I’ve never been incredibly good at figuring what those are and never made a list of the qualities I think would mesh well with me. I’ve never felt I can justify even wanting particular qualities. I’m learning to, though.
There have been women in my life I’ve wanted. I don’t mean just physically; I mean I’ve loved so many things about them and felt that I wanted them as part of my life for the long term, been willing to bend and break to make things work. One woman in particular made me feel this the strongest, and still does, though things didn’t work out for that to be so, at least for now if at all. Some was lack of communication; I never knew how to say wat I needed and wanted, and held my tongue because I just didn’t feel it was right for me to even say some things.
I also understand that what we want and what we chose are often two different things; compromise is part of life, like it or not. But, if I could just create my own version of the “perfect woman”, which of course we all no doesn’t exist (neither does the perfect man), what would I want?
Well, here’s something, then. This is not a ‘must have’ list, but an ‘it would be awesome if’ list. Please don’t take it too terribly seriously; it was hard enough for me to even bother making it. It’s also not complete, and will likely grow and/or change as time goes on.
- wants to be a part of my life, not have me build a life around her, and is willing to wait for me to build that life before asking to become a major part of it
- enjoys having me read to her, regardless of what it is, and loves to fall asleep against me each night while I read to her
- likes to read magazine/newspaper articles to me that we both find interesting, and doesn’t mind repeating parts for me or having me following along from over her shoulder as she reads out loud, knowing I do that because of my LDs and not just to be rude
- likes to lay against me sometimes while I play video games and either read a book/magazine or even watch me play, and might even help by offering suggestions or reading players guides when I get stuck once in a while
- plays video games with me sometimes, especially MMO games, but plays at the same speed I do and doesn’t rush ahead of me. Loves L2 or is willing to try it and understands my passion for it, even if after trying it she doesn’t enjoy it as much as other games
- loves D&D/role playing, and enjoys having me GM; understands it’s just a game and doesn’t get angry because of what happens in-game or bring out-of-game issues with other people in-game
- loves to watch me sword fight, has her own opinions on the sport and it’s politics, encourages me in my learning and teaching of it, and might even get into the A&S of the SCA
- loves to cuddle, but won’t guilt-trip me into cuddling when I’m too hyper or don’t feel like it
- loves to hear me sing, encourages me to when I randomly start singing around the house and always encourages me to sing the whole song beginning to end instead of interrupting me half way through, but doesn’t push me *too* hard when I just want to sing a couple lines
- will be my partner and equal, not insisting that she or I be the “alpha” in the relationship; won’t be constantly competing for dominance or “taking over”. Love shouldn’t be a fight or competition for dominance. There doesn’t *have* to always be one alpha and one beta. Love is a partnership, a team effort; we work together, compromise as needed and take turns as needed. If you think that you have to be dominant just because I’m not being so at the moment, then you have some issues you need to fix
- understands that though money is important for living, it’s not worth fretting too much over. Money has it’s uses, but being without is not the end of the world
- loves to go to karaoke with me, even just to watch and encourage me. Also likes how I dance and likes to go dancing with me
- if/when living together: feels that having her own possessions is important, but views helping good friends is more important than weather I’ve asked her first for her permission to help our friends with her stuff; everything has a ‘single owner’, but while together it’s not as important what’s ‘yours’ or ‘mine’
- likes to play wrestle sometimes, but doesn’t care if we don’t get terribly rough
- likes to have evenings where we have friends gather either at a bar/pub or at our house for an evening of socializing, over movies, board games, etc.; just an excuse to enjoy the company of our close friends and not be isolationistic and anti-social
- likes to experiment sexually, even in little ways. Wants to help me explore my sexuality in little ways. Is willing to try slightly less usual things, like sex in a public place, etc.
- has a darker, seductive side sometimes
- loves the stories I write has stories of her own, and even collaborates on some with me
- loves Sci-Fi and/or Fantasy; enjoys watching various series/movies on DVD, sometimes as
short marathons
- loves listening to lots of different kinds of music
- understands that I am a bit scatter brained, and that I get worse when I’m stressed; doesn’t hold that against me all the time, either, and is willing to help me de-stress when I start getting overly scatter brained
- likes it when I comment on how attractive she is, or how she turns me on even when she’s not trying, and compliments me in a similar fashion.
- if/when living together and my store is open, knows that running a business takes a lot of my brain, and is willing to help look after the home finances, but won’t “take over” and be a financial dictator
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